(Revamping the blog. Please excuse the odd headings. Working on it!)

Writing History & Mysteries

When I'm not delving into historical research, I'm planning a character's demise.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Milk Carton Murders 06

2013 March 24
Weekend Writing Warriors is a blog hop. The object is to write eight sentences from your writing, published or unpublished, for the other participants to critique (as well as anyone else who wants to comment of course). This is a snippet from my WIP, The Milk Carton Murders.
- See more at: http://historysleuth.blogspot.com/#sthash.KzbxXmen.dpuf
Weekend Writing Warriors is a blog hop. The object is to write eight sentences from your writing, published or unpublished, for the other participants to critique (as well as anyone else who wants to comment of course). This is a snippet from my WIP, The Milk Carton Murders.

The Milk Carton Murders
(A brief synopsis of the story and previous excerpts can be found here.)
We'll leave the killer's perspective now and return to Dave's POV.
Some background. Dental records were confirmed that the skeletal remains were in fact the girls pictured on the milk carton clippings. Dave's dad went to the senior center so Dave takes the opportunity to go back up into the attic to dig around for old files or photos despite the fact he hates it up there. Like typical attics, everything just got added and pushed back further and further over the years. As if moving back in time with every box he moves, he reaches the other end of the attic by the front window. 
As before, italics is the voice in Dave's head.


***

         An old wooden chair layered in grit sat strategically placed by the window—a testament to its years of service as the neighborhood watcher. On instinct, Dave rubbed his hand along the edge of the back. His fingers felt ridged grooves beneath its cover of dust, not carved very deep—he blew. A tilt of the chair one way, then the other, but he still couldn’t read it clearly. He ripped a piece of newspaper from where it was wrapped around some nick-knack or other and found a pencil on a shelf. He laid the paper flat on the chair back and rubbed the lead until the letters appeared, “I am Sammy Briggs July 21, 1987.”

         Dave jumped up with a start, stumbled backward over a box behind him and landed on his tailbone.

         Shit, Davy, bet you weren't expecting that, eh?


***
The link to the other Weekend Writing Warriors is here. This week we have almost 80 participants! You're bound to find something to pique your interest.

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PS If you are so inclined, feel free to donate me a word on my post on April's Blogging From A-Z/Camp NaNoWriMo--I needz more words guys! Just thought it would be more fun to blog everyday if I had to try and use someone else's word of the day.

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25 comments:

  1. Whew, I did not expect that either. I'm wondering how it got there. Was she confined in the attic for a while? Is there evidence of others?

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  2. Wow! What a zinger, HS! I'm loving this story :-) !!

    This is especially nice, "...—a testament to its years of service as the neighborhood watcher."

    Excellent post.

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  3. Good attic description and of the chair and it purpose. Very intriguing bit - and although I've not read previous posts - it definitely catches my attention and makes me want to know more (read on in other words). Nicely done.

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  4. Surprises in the attic are always awesome ... and spooky! Great visuals!!

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  5. Wow, what a great cliffhanger! Can't wait to find out more.

    ~Joyce Scarbrough

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  6. Great descriptions here. Even though it's a short snippet, it's easy to visualize everything and feel a bit of Dave's nostalgia & apprehension. Looking forward to more.

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  7. I bet he didn't! Very nice description.

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  8. I love the tone and the details of this. There's this spooky shadowing to it all that makes it so gripping.

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  9. Oh, nicely done. Gave me the shivers. Can't wait to read more.

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  10. Loved, Loved the descriptions here. Really nice job and can't wait to see what happens next. :-)

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  11. Fascinating excerpt. I was mesmerized by the details on the chair and nearly as shocked as he was by the inscription. Can't wait for more!

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  12. Lovely description and the inscription on the chair is both intriguing and unsettling. Great 8.

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  13. Holy cow. Documentation and confirmation.

    What on earth is Dave going to do ?

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  14. You had me on the edge of my seat. Wow, very unsettling. Fab snippet.

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  15. Yep, that's a surprise.

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  16. This is my first time reading one of your posts. Now I want to know why that shocked him so much. Great cliffhanger.

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  17. "a testament to its years of service as the neighborhood watcher."
    I liked that line, too.
    Kudos!

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  18. Thanks everyone for your thoughts and stopping by this week! Much appreciated. :)

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  19. Oh, wow, my eyes almost popped out of my head! SO creepy and poor Dave...his own father...Great 8, as always.

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  20. love love... are you going to publish? You know I think you should!

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  21. Most likely one way or another but I have some non-fiction to finish first. Thanks for the support though Anonymous!

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  22. Hmm... I'm not getting the significance of that particular message, but I love the idea of the secret hidden in plain sight!

    Can you actually pull that trick with a newspaper? It seems to be that the text already printed would get in the way of reading the pencil impressions.

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  23. I've done that trick on tombstones with crayons. There is always a section of the paper that is blank area in an ad so I figured it was feasible. But good point, I should try it.

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  24. Wow! The significance of this comes through loud and clear. Nicely done!

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Anyone can comment. You don't need to jump through hoops or be a member of anything. Nice huh?

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