(Revamping the blog. Please excuse the odd headings. Working on it!)

Writing History & Mysteries

When I'm not delving into historical research, I'm planning a character's demise.

Sunday, August 04, 2013

Milk Carton Murders 21

Okay, I lied to you last week. I said I was going to end the scene right there and jump ahead this week so as not to give too much away. I changed my mind. I decided it wouldn't hurt to finish the scene to the end of chapter 19. 

If you read last week's post, the truth is trickling out, and Pepper now knows through questioning Dave's dad, Hal, that they personally knew one of the victims from 20 years ago. I'll give you the last line from last week (if you don't want to look back) just to keep the flow of the scene.
“I called her Sally.” Dave paused. “You know her too, Pepper--you found her five days ago in a wooden coffin. Her real name is Samantha Briggs.” - See more at: http://historysleuth.blogspot.com/2013/07/milk-carton-murders-20.html#sthash.l8H76hGh.dpuf
 “I called her Sally.” Dave paused. “You know her too, Pepper--you found her five days ago in a wooden coffin. Her real name is Samantha Briggs.”  
And now the snippet. Pepper speaks first.


 “Don’t say anything more. God, I didn’t want to have to say this—Hal Robertson, you’re under arrest for the murder of Samantha Briggs aka Sally. You have the right …”

Her words trailed off until Dave couldn’t hear them anymore. Funny, he did the same thing as a child when he couldn’t cope with tragedy, when he was scared—recede into his own little world, escape where he couldn’t get hurt—and his imaginary friend would be there waiting for him. No wonder he still talked to himself inside his head. There was something part of him was hiding from, something terrible, something that had happened to him and Sally. If he wanted to save his dad, and himself, he was going to have to figure out what that something was.
 ***
 Next week we will jump ahead.
***

The link to the other Weekend Writing Warriors is here. You're bound to find something to pique your interest.

The Sunday Snippet writer's on Facebook are here. Between the two there is something for everyone. Thank you for any comments you leave me. Much appreciated!

*** 
BLURB:
When three small coffins are unearthed near the Wiscoy Creek during a routine dredging operation, it’s the last thing DAVE ROBERTSON, of the Lamont Weekly Times, expected. Pinned to the skeleton’s clothing are pictures from milk cartons of missing girls.

Dave is stunned to find that one of the girls is Sally―a foster child his parents had cared for through the Friends of Foster Families (FFF) program. Cold case files reveal the girls disappeared over 20 years ago. Knowing his house was the last place he saw Sally alive, he can’t help but suspect his dad.

How can he write the biggest story of his career if his father turns out to be the killer? If the voice in his head would shut up and let him remember, he might figure it out before he loses his mind and his dad is charged with murder.

Full blurb and snippet recap here.


“I called her Sally.” Dave paused. “You know her too, Pepper--you found her five days ago in a wooden coffin. Her real name is Samantha Briggs.” - See more at: http://historysleuth.blogspot.com/2013/07/milk-carton-murders-20.html#sthash.l8H76hGh.dpuf
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35 comments:

  1. Maybe I missed something, but I don't think there's enough evidence to arrest Hal, though further questioning is definitely required.

    Dave's reaction is very understandable in either case.

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  3. (oops, deleted my post by mistake!)

    Oh wow, such drama! Very intriguing. :)

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  4. Imaginary friend . . .

    So. Many. Possibilities!

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  5. Everyone needs an imaginary friend -- or two.
    Kudos!

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  6. Awesome, Cindy!! I love this story! ;-)

    Abnd thanks for finishing this scene. It only adds to the suspense! :-)

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  7. I think that's a valid point about not having enough evidence to arrest him but yes, more questioning would definitely be appropriate.

    And yes too, thanks for the scene! I am so curious about the things you've left out of the full story, to post in snippets :D

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  8. As far as evidence, I've left things out. I don't want to revel all the clues and such in snippets. Although I do have emails to the county sheriffs on a few things.

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  9. The whole mind going numb and retreating inside himself is so realistic and well done. Great snippet!

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  10. Oh, I'm so glad you gave us a bit more of this scene. Loved Dave's reaction. Great job!

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  11. Great hook!!! This really leaves me desperate to know what Dave is going to do!

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  12. Cindy, you've done such an amazing job building creating tension and a compelling mystery. Can't wait to read more :)

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  13. What suspense! I couldn't stop reading.

    Only critique: I agree that it seems a bit premature to arrest Dave for the murder. I think it would make more sense to ask him to come in for more questioning.

    Still, I loved the paragraph where he feels so detached. Really well done tone and feel to it. And I think it's a great cut away from what is going on.

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  14. Oh, I love this. I love that he's realizing that he knows, but my heart aches for him at the same. For the child he must have been. Terrific snippet.

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  15. I can feel his worry. Well done. :)

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  16. I'm loving this, the intrigue just keeps coming!

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  17. Ah yes, part of the dilemma I had to post or not post this part. Yes there is enough to arrest him, you just aren't seeing those in between parts.It is a mystery that I plan to publish, so I can't show you everything. :)

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  18. Intense!! How is he going to get out of this. I love reading your snippets.

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  19. Such an engrossing story, so many twists and turns. I'm really hooked. Another excellent excerpt!

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  20. Poor Dave. Diving into those memories is gonna hurt!

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  21. Well done. His reaction is very realistic.

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  22. Excellent tone - I get his anxiety.

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  23. Aww, poor Dave. That's so sad. Great snippet.

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  24. That is intense! I feel for him. Poor guy. Great show of emotion!

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  25. Showing his habit of slipping away to his own world in stressful times is a great way of illustrating that there have been a lot of stressful times in his life. Well done!

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  26. Oh yeah, I think Dave might have something to answer for. Great snippet as always, Cindy. :D

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  27. Is there enough evidence to arrest? You've written a powerful disturbing eight. Looking for more here.

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  28. I think we're just getting pieces, but the pieces are intriguing.

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  29. Imaginary friend? Now this is getting interesting. His "friend" must know what happened but hides away from his true memories. Cool story and like how it's proceeding.

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  30. You have me dangling on your hook! Looking forward to more!

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  31. Ohh, I like this. Going to have to go back and catch up on some reading!!

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  32. A tense scene there.

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  33. This dilemma is intriguing to me, as I'm currently feeling like Dave... I think many of us can relate to the necessity of remembering parts we've carefully had to hide from ourselves. You character is bravely delving into something so that he can save his dad. This is a great story line!!!

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  34. Yes that goes in the Hal-didn't-do-anything-direction...

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  35. When will the book be out? Reading this way is just maddening!

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