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Writing History & Mysteries

When I'm not delving into historical research, I'm planning a character's demise.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

The Milk Carton Murders 12

Set up:

The remains of the three girls have been identified through dental records at the Center for Missing Children including Samantha Briggs, the girl Dave knew as Sally when he was a kid. Dave (our MC and small town reporter) and investigator Pepper Black notice the dates on the 20 year old milk carton pieces were all on Sundays at the beginning of April. Last week Margret tells  Randy (newspaper’s layout guy) and Dave that his parents are getting an award for their service the Friends of Foster Families program. 

Words in italics is the voice in Dave’s head.
“It's pretty cool,” Randy said, feeding off Margaret’s energy, “big dinner, black tie, the big wigs come, good PR and all, and your dad will get a kick out of getting a picture with all of them. My dad has his hanging in his den I think."

"Can't wait," Dave answered, with a forced smile.

            I don’t know, Davy, I’m thinking they’ll just skip the photo op and get right to the hanging part, most likely by that black tie.

Dave could feel the migraine spreading from his temples. “And when is this supposed to be?"

            "The northeastern district award is given every April," answered Margaret, “and this year they’re hosting it in our county.”
The link to the other Weekend Writing Warriors is here. You're bound to find something to pique your interest.

The Sunday Snippet writer's on Facebook are here. Between the two there is something for everyone.
When three small coffins are unearthed near the Wiscoy Creek during a routine dredging operation, it’s the last thing DAVE ROBERTSON, of the Lamont Weekly Times, expected. Pinned to the skeleton’s clothing are pictures from milk cartons of missing girls.

Dave is stunned to find that one of the girls is Sally―a foster child his parents had cared for through the Friends of Foster Families (FFF) program. Cold case files reveal the girls disappeared over 20 years ago. Knowing his house was the last place he saw Sally alive, he can’t help but suspect his dad.

How can he write the biggest story of his career if his father turns out to be the killer? If the voice in his head would shut up and let him remember, he might figure it out before he loses his mind and his dad is charged with murder.

Full blurb and snippet recap here.



  1. I love the Dave's witty thoughts-- "...most likely by the black tie." I can hardly wait to read this in its entirety, Cindy! :-) Good 8. :-)

  2. A very intriguing story and this awards ceremony is quite a development. Terrific snippet!

  3. Oh, man, what a horrible place to be in - suspecting his dad is dirty and having to pretend he's happy about the award to everyone else. Wuff. Great snippet, Cynthia. :)

  4. The italics always makes me so uncomfortable and this is another great example. Well done.

  5. Love the inner thoughts. I feel for Dave! Great snippet!

  6. AnonymousMay 19, 2013

    After reading this, I had to go back and read the other snippets. Good job! I feel so bad for Dave.

  7. Love his thoughts. Probably should be a hanging!

  8. I'm torn . . . I'm not sure it was his Dad, but that would leave his Mom, and that would somehow be even worse.


  9. AnonymousMay 19, 2013

    Interesting--especially the voice in his head. I look forward to more.

  10. AnonymousMay 19, 2013

    Is the italics part internal thoughts or a genuine "voice"? Hmmm.

  11. Huh. I'm asking the same thing Kate is. Maybe the killer is NOT Dave's dad but is still all in the family? Or have I just been watching too many scary movies lately? :-)

  12. Nice snippet. His thoughts are hilarious.

  13. The voice in Dave's head is another personality, he just doesn't realize it as he's had it since he was a kid. Doesn't everyone talk to themselves once in a while? It's just flared up since the girls were found, to the point of being constant, and he is now realizing something is seriously wrong with him.

    Some of this is hinted at in my WIP but I skipped over that as this is just 8 sentence snippets. But I can't say much more then that about Dave at this point. I am going in order of the chapters though.

    Thanks for your comments and pondering the ins and outs of Dave as that is what I was hoping the reader would do. :)

  14. I also went back to catch up. This story is so compelling. I think about the mental dance Dave is having, convinced and trying to find proof to "unconvince" himself of his dad's past deeds.

  15. I love this, now Dave on the top of suspecting his dad needs to hurry to find the truth and get his paper out before that event.
    The suspense is very intense.

  16. When I put myself in Dave's place, it's absolutely frightening to even consider it's his father. There is, of course, another possibility since Dave has this internal voice that calls him Davey. Makes us think. Great snippet.

  17. It had to be in April. I hope Dave gets out of there and gets some serious headache medicine soon, not to mention a few gulps of fresh air.

  18. Love the black tie hanging comment. Snarky. Still want to know if that voice is live or Memorex!

  19. This really lets us get inside of Dave's head. It is creepy and intriguing at the same time. And well, I totally sympathize with him cuz migraines are the worst!

  20. Still loving this story. The voice in his head is wonderfully smartass. Looking forward to more!

    ~Joyce Scarbrough

  21. Wow! Just wow! Great 8!


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