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Writing History & Mysteries

When I'm not delving into historical research, I'm planning a character's demise.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

The Milk Carton Murders 11


SETUP: We’re jumping ahead a little. We’ll get back to the clues on the milk cartons later. Dave wonders if his dad is responsible for the killing of three little girls 20 years earlier that were recently dislodged from the bank of Wiscoy Creek. Dave’s Mom and Dad (Hal) were foster parents when he was a kid. Dave is in the office of the Lamont Weekly Times when Margret, the society page reporter; rushes in with exciting news that she’s just busting at the seams to tell. So of course Dave asks,” what?”
Text below in italics is the voice inside Dave’s head. 


"I just got the skinny that your dad is getting an award from the Friends of Foster Families for all the wonderful work he did over the years in the foster care program," Margaret said, beaming, "and the Rotary's hosting it."

Dave missed his mouth with his mug as he stumbled backward coming close to spilling his coffee all over his shirt. "Shit!” He checked his front while he held his mug away from himself.

"I know, right? I was surprised too."

No Margaret, he really means, oh shit! An award for all Hal’s good deeds—how’s that for irony, Davy?

"Well,” said Dave, as he sat his mug on his desk and tried to compose himself, "I bet he'll be just thrilled about it."

"That's what I thought," Margaret said, "your mom too―posthumous of course."

"Well, that's just ... swell," said Dave.
*** 

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The Sunday Snippet writer's on Facebook are here. Between the two there is something for everyone.
*** 
BLURB:
When three small coffins are unearthed near the Wiscoy Creek during a routine dredging operation, it’s the last thing DAVE ROBERTSON, of the Lamont Weekly Times, expected. Pinned to the skeleton’s clothing are pictures from milk cartons of missing girls.

Dave is stunned to find that one of the girls is Sally―a foster child his parents had cared for through the Friends of Foster Families (FFF) program. Cold case files reveal the girls disappeared over 20 years ago. Knowing his house was the last place he saw Sally alive, he can’t help but suspect his dad.

How can he write the biggest story of his career if his father turns out to be the killer? If the voice in his head would shut up and let him remember, he might figure it out before he loses his mind and his dad is charged with murder.

Full blurb and snippet recap here.

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31 comments:

  1. Oh, sheesh! Yeah, that's probably ironic as hell.

    Though I'm still wondering about the actual perpetrator . . .

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  2. AnonymousMay 12, 2013

    nice irony .... Jen

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  3. Great job! Definitely riddled with irony. And poor Dave. I was totally drawn into his sad circumstance.

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  4. Ha, I really did laugh out loud at Dave's reaction at the end! This is a great kind of lighthearted moment after a lot of drama. You've got some cool characters and I really like how you 'show' us their personalities.

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  5. BTW, is this book out yet? Soon to be out? Because I'm definitely hooked :-)

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  6. Oooh, that sounds like trouble... Very ironic, indeed!

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  7. Very nicely done. Nice humorous scene while still propelling the plot forward and with nice character revelation. I'll have to go back and read the previous snippets.

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  8. Nice snippet! This sounds like an amazing book! I'm looking forward to more snippets!!

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  9. Poor Dave, huh? Glad you all are enjoying it. I will be hopping around on and off today into Monday. Doing the mommy day thing. :)

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  10. An interesting, ironic twist to be sure. I thought Davy's reaction was perfect. Terrific snippet in this intriguing story!

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  11. Perfect end to the snippet. It was cool to hear both the exterior words and interior voice in his head.

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  12. Oh, I feel bad for Dave! How will he be able to sit through the award ceremony with the suspicions he has?

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  13. I'm hooked too! Can't wait to read more.

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  14. Great twist, Cindy! Love it! :-) Poor Dave :-)

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  15. I have no idea what's going on but your "show" is excellent

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  16. Great tension and juxtaposition of his thoughts in this scene. It's really easy to picture.

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  17. Ooh that voice in his head seems to have its own sentience (sp?) which makes me worry (in a good and intriguing way) if Dave is the killer and not his father. hmmm

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  18. Nice emotion in the physical cues. Very interesting premise. I look forward to seeing more.

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  19. Intriguing snippet. Tension and tone are great. Looking forward to more.

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  20. Love the irony! Wonder if Dave's suspicions about Dad are true? Looking forward to the next instalment.

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  21. Oh, this sounds intriguing! What a great set-up:)

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  22. Even though this scene had a bit of humor, I feel sorry for Dave. It can't be easy for Dave to have doubts about his father.

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  23. Well done. Love the premise of this and am looking forward to next week!

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  24. Goodness me - this is a totally catching hook. I would really like to read more of this..x

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  25. This makes you want to read more! I hope Dave's initial instinct is wrong about his father.

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  26. Yikes! No wonder he spilled his coffee. Great snippet. :)

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  27. Poor Dave. I'm really feeling his torment. Looking forward to more clues and more insight into Dave's dilemma.

    ~Joyce Scarbrough

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  28. Or is the voice in Dave's head the real culprit? You have me hook, line, and sinker!

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  29. I like the confusion when he says "shit!"

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  30. hmmm "poor Dave, huh" you say. Is this a clue?

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  31. I'm kinda with Dave on this one. I'm not sure that's a good thing. Great snippet, Cynthia. I'm enjoying your story. :)

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