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Writing History & Mysteries

When I'm not delving into historical research, I'm planning a character's demise.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Milk Carton Murders 22

I'm back! It's been a busy month. Last time Hal (Dave's dad) was about to be arrested by Investigator Pepper Black for the 20 year old murder of one of the girls who was found by the creek. Sheriff Nazzaro shows up at Dave's house after the station is called to send a squad car.
“Pepper,” yelled the sheriff as he slammed the door of the patrol car, “what the hell is this about—arresting Hal for murder?”

“That’s right, sheriff, one of our milk carton victims was living here under a false name and Hal just said himself he killed her.”

“Oh wait a minute, now—he said no such thing!” said Dave. “What he said was it was his fault she was dead and buried by the creek.”

“Exactly,” said Pepper.

“Jeez, Pepper, it’s not the same thing, it doesn’t mean he killed her,” Dave said, exasperated.

“Alright—enough you two!” shouted Nazzaro. “Hal, when you said that, did you mean you killed her?”

***

The link to the other Weekend Writing Warriors is here. You're bound to find something to pique your interest.

The Sunday Snippet writer's on Facebook are here. Between the two there is something for everyone. Thank you for any comments you leave me. Much appreciated!

*** 
BLURB:
When three small coffins are unearthed near the Wiscoy Creek during a routine dredging operation, it’s the last thing DAVE ROBERTSON, of the Lamont Weekly Times, expected. Pinned to the skeleton’s clothing are pictures from milk cartons of missing girls.

Dave is stunned to find that one of the girls is Sally―a foster child his parents had cared for through the Friends of Foster Families (FFF) program. Cold case files reveal the girls disappeared over 20 years ago. Knowing his house was the last place he saw Sally alive, he can’t help but suspect his dad.

How can he write the biggest story of his career if his father turns out to be the killer? If the voice in his head would shut up and let him remember, he might figure it out before he loses his mind and his dad is charged with murder.

Full blurb and snippet recap here.

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35 comments:

  1. Yay! Excellent, Cindy! Emotions are boiling over! I knew he didn't do it (I think, lol) but why was it his fault??? :-)

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  2. Yes, yes, I'd like to hear Hal's answer to that question. Great snippet!

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  3. Something about this snippet reminded me of Thomas a Becket and the king's comment, "Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?"
    Well done!

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  4. Pepper is going so straight at it, but it also sounds like a way to catch Dave. Somehow, I totally want him to be the one. :P

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  5. I'm wondering about that voice in Dave's head, is that going to pop in and make all this even worse for poor Dave?

    Great excerpt, Cindy. I gotta know how this turns out!

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  6. Just keeps getting more and more intense. I can't wait to read the entire story - great snippet today as always.

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  7. of course you'd leave us hanging on what his answer is going to be. Sheesh!! I have to wait a whole week to find out? OMG! LOL. Great job!

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  8. Way to get my heart pumping. I couldn't read this fast enough. What's Hal going to say?!?!! Great snippet.

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  9. Great depiction of utter confusion. I'm enjoying this series of snippets!

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  10. Argh, way to leave us hanging, you tease : ) This makes me more nervous for Dave...

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  11. Hal, we're all rooting for you!! Tell them you're innocent!!

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  12. Oh, I want to know Hal's answer. I love the conflicting dialogue exchange...now that's moving the story. Interesting 8!

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  13. I'm very invested in this story. Is the full book available?

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  14. So close to the truth---supposing Hal will tell it!

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  15. Got to be careful what you say! Enjoyed your snippet.

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  16. What an emotional case this is for Dave! I really like how you show how people can jump to conclusions, especially when there's so much emotional trauma happening. Hal's got a good ally in Dave! I really like your writing, Cindy... and I've always loved a good mystery :)

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  17. There's a humorous take to this snippet. A cliffhanger with a goofiness. Good eight, you rascal.

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  18. LOL! I love that you've lightened what could be a very tense scene with the humor that comes with familiarity. This is a town full on fascinating characters!

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  19. I'm glad you're back and Hal. My vote is not guilty. If you give an answer next week, I'll miss it, but I'll catch up later. Good snippet.

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  20. These characters are a bundle of excitement. Way to leave us hanging. LOL. Great snippet.

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  21. Great fun and lots of attitude in this snippet, can't wait for his reply!

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  22. A very important distinction indeed. Great snippet, Cindy. Glad you're back this week. :)

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  23. Nice snippet. I like the name Pepper. I did notice 'said' became redundant as I read- but otherwise I enjoyed this section.
    ~Summer

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  24. I want Hal's answer! Great snippet as usual!

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  25. Hey! Thanks for dropping by and reminding me that I was late getting my snippet up this week. It's there now!

    Pepper appears to be quick to jump to conclusions. Is Pepper a he? I often think of it as a girl's nickname, not sure why.

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  26. Great slant of humor in an otherwise serious situation. I'm glad to be back for your snippets, as this story intrigues me. :)

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  27. Gem - no it's not published yet. I'm in editing phase.

    Chris - You are correct, Pepper is a female.

    Thanks for all your comments. Wish I could do that reply to individual comments thing, but that doesn't seem to be an option with this template. :(

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  28. It doesn't mean he's the murderer... but it doesn't mean he isn't.

    Though saying 'it's my fault' would make me think he's not the killer, personally, because it isn't 'I did it,' more like 'I allowed it to happen.'

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  29. Whoa! Pepper's reading into things. Good thing Dave's asking detailed questions. Great humor mixed in. Enjoyed your 8! :)

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  30. Oh, what a place to stop! I need more. :D Welcome back! You've been missed. I very much look forward to the next snippet. :)

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  31. Love a good mystery! This sounds great!

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  32. I hope the sheriff is bald because I'm betting he wants to tear his hair out about now...

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  33. I'm starting to enjoy following these snippets Cindy. Good stuff.

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  34. The tension is crackling and I can picture it so clearly I want to turn my head to look at each person. Excellent.

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