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Writing History & Mysteries

When I'm not delving into historical research, I'm planning a character's demise.

Sunday, September 01, 2013

Milk Carton Murders 23

Last week, Hal (Dave's dad) was about to be arrested by Investigator Pepper Black for the 20 year old murder of one of the girls who was found by the creek. Sheriff Nazzaro shows up at Dave's house after the station is called to send a squad car. Dave and Pepper exchange heated words and Hal evades Nazzaro's blunt question, "Do you mean you killed her?"
As always, the words in italics is the "other" voice in Dave's head.
“Am I under arrest?” Dave’s father asked.

“No, Hal,” Nazzaro answered, “but that doesn’t mean you won’t be if you can’t explain yourself better than this—right now, I hate to say, I have to agree with Pepper. It sounds like you’re confessing to murder or accessory to murder; I can’t ignore it.”

Dave put his hands to his head and rubbed back and forth to try and make his migraine go away, to make it all go away―to have the voice stop. “I can’t believe this―I won't,” he said, louder than he intended.
You’re as chicken shit as ever, Davy―always hidin' from the truth.

"Just shut up!" Dave yelled. 

"Now David," his father said, putting a hand on his  shoulder, "don't be disrespectful to the sheriff― you were raised ... I raised you better than that."


The link to the other Weekend Writing Warriors is here. You're bound to find something to pique your interest.

The Sunday Snippet writer's on Facebook are here. Between the two there is something for everyone. Thank you for any comments you leave me. Much appreciated!

When three small coffins are unearthed near the Wiscoy Creek during a routine dredging operation, it’s the last thing DAVE ROBERTSON, of the Lamont Weekly Times, expected. Pinned to the skeleton’s clothing are pictures from milk cartons of missing girls.

Dave is stunned to find that one of the girls is Sally―a foster child his parents had cared for through the Friends of Foster Families (FFF) program. Cold case files reveal the girls disappeared over 20 years ago. Knowing his house was the last place he saw Sally alive, he can’t help but suspect his dad.

How can he write the biggest story of his career if his father turns out to be the killer? If the voice in his head would shut up and let him remember, he might figure it out before he loses his mind and his dad is charged with murder.

Full blurb and snippet recap here.


  1. Hal seems like such a nice guy. This is too obvious, and I can hardly wait to read this book and see who REALLY was the murderer. :-) Great 8, Cindy! :-)

  2. It seems that there is more in this family than a murder case, why is Hal hesitating?

  3. He's def seems to be suppressing what happened.I'm with him, if this happened or I thought it had happened in my family, idk what I'd do either. Very skillful writing.

  4. Maybe he should listen more to the "other voices."
    Nice 8!

  5. I'm wondering what Dave really knows... or what he think he knows. Great 8 as usual.

  6. Great 8! I like how he speaks his mind and stands up to the sheriff.

  7. It's a mystery to this reader. Hey, that's what it's all about. Super eight.

  8. Cindy, this really is great! There's so much going on here, some of it pretty clear, some implied. I so want to know what's in Hal's past!

  9. I'm starting to suspect Dave, now . . . what is he repressing?

  10. SUCH an intriguing story and all the twists and turns keep me thoroughly engaged and wanting more. Excellent excerpt!

  11. Like Sarah W, I'm starting to suspect Dave (or at least the voice in his head). Geat snippet!

  12. Yelling at the voice in your head in front of cops is probably not the way to go. o.O

    I'm really curious about the odd hesitation in talking about how David was raised.

  13. Great snippet! The tension just keeps building!

  14. Love the thick tension and that no one really knows what's going on. Fabulous.

  15. Poor Dave, he's having more and more outbursts answering himself or his other self or.....

    It is curious what his dad meant isn't it? Glad to see so many different theories. That's a good thing when one is writing a mystery.

    Thanks for all your comments.

  16. What is in Dave's past? I don't think he knows himself.

  17. Ooh. Voices in his head. Like it! Also like the title -- Milk Carton Murders. It sounds so real -- like a nickname given to a high profile case by the authorities.

  18. Nicely done building on what came before, Cindy. Great snippet. :)

  19. Poor Dave, nobody needs voices in their head...unless they're an author : ) You have us all guessing you naughty author!

  20. Great characterization! The migraine 'rubbing' was a nice touch.

  21. Wow! The tension in this scene is palpable. Good job!

  22. Another fantastic excerpt! Loved the dialogue. Very powerful scene! :)

  23. He is gonna be in some serious trouble if he doesn't explain... Eep! Can't wait to see where it goes. Great job! :D

  24. Something is a little "off" with Hal. He is hiding something or knows more.


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Available in paperback and eBook formats

Available in paperback and eBook formats

Now Available At:

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The History Press

Carried by over 20 college/university libraries across the county, according to daily updates by worldcat.org, including Columbia University, Oklahoma State, Texas A & M, and Yale University Law Library.


APRIL 2nd,11-1 PM
The Book Shoppe - Medina, NY

APRIL 16th, 2 PM
Barnes & Noble - Pittsfield, MA

APRIL 19th, 7 PM
Tonawanda Indian Reservation Historical Society,
Tonawanda Indian Community Center- Akron, NY

MAY 14th, 1 PM
Seneca Iroquois National Museum - Salamanca, NY

May 17th, 6 PM Warsaw Public Library - Warsaw, NY

AUG 9TH, 7 pm Hoss's Country Corner -2016 Author's Night- Long Lake, NY

AUG 25TH 6 PM Akwesasne Cultural Center - Hogansburg, NY

More to announce as they are confirmed.

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