As always the words in italics is the "other" voice in Dave's head.
“I was trying to trigger my dad’s memory about Sally," said Dave.
“Trigger my memory—that’s what the car bit was all about?” said Hal, annoyed. “Why the hell didn’t you just come out and ask me?”
“Hal, if you have something you want to get off your chest about all of this, I'm asking; it’s time to let it go,” said Sheriff Nazzaro.
Their playing good cop, bad cop again, Davy—Nazzy with his let-me-help-you-ease-your-conscience shit.
“You're right, they're doing the good cop bad cop thing,” said Dave. Pepper gave him a quizzical look. Too late to take his words back—he had answered himself out loud except no one heard the other voice he was talking to.
***
Well, one of the reasons for the derby car, but not the only one. Sally (whose real name is Samantha) was a foster child at Dave's house when he was a kid. She watched as Hal helped Dave make his derby car. Hope I didn't loose too much this time in the creative editing to fit the eight.
The link to the other Weekend Writing Warriors is here. You're bound to find something to pique your interest.
The Sunday Snippet writer's on Facebook are here. Between the two there is something for everyone. Thank you for any comments you leave me. Much appreciated!
***
When
three small coffins are unearthed near the Wiscoy Creek during a
routine dredging operation, it’s the last thing DAVE ROBERTSON, of the Lamont Weekly Times, expected. Pinned to the skeleton’s clothing are pictures from milk cartons of missing girls.
BLURB:
Dave is stunned to find that one of the girls is Sally―a foster child his parents had cared for through the Friends of Foster Families (FFF) program. Cold case files reveal the girls disappeared over 20 years ago. Knowing his house was the last place he saw Sally alive, he can’t help but suspect his dad.
How can he write the biggest story of his career if his father turns out to be the killer? If the voice in his head would shut up and let him remember, he might figure it out before he loses his mind and his dad is charged with murder.
Full blurb and snippet recap here.
Interesting snippet!
ReplyDeleteDave is really starting to lose it. I wonder if the voice can start making him do things he doesn't want to do as well.
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering the same thing as Linda... and whether he was involved in the murders himself.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to hear more of those "other" voices!
ReplyDeleteNice 8!
Love the last bit--answering the voice in your head. Great use of the eights.
ReplyDeleteThe voice in the head is wonderful, especially when he answers it.
ReplyDeleteAnother compelling excerpt, Cindy. I'm going a little cuckoo myself wondering about Dave's voice!
ReplyDeleteBTW, simple typo: you used "their" instead of "they're" :-) Of course spellcheck wouldn't catch that!
Seriously, I gotta know when you get this published, I am absolutely gonna buy :-D
Poor Dave, huh? Thanks for the typo catch. I'll fix that. I had a historians conference all day yesterday and didn't get to me snippet probably till after 1 a.m. My brain was fried.
ReplyDeleteOh man! I hope he didn't do it, but the mystery is set up so great! looking forward to next week!
ReplyDeleteSee, I just typo-d again. Aye, "me" snippet! :) I'm on blogging overload. I was blogging from the conference about the conference. I do the historian's blog too.
ReplyDeleteHa! That's always awkward when you start having conversations with yourself out loud. Great eight, Cindy! :)
ReplyDeleteComplex story here and way cool. I enjoy your style. Good eight.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I posted and forgot to sign up. Scrambled brains last week so please check out my latest post using last weeks charmaine gordon on the list and 10/6/13 wewriwa. Thanks.
"playing good cop, bad cop again" The "again" makes me wonder if they've done that while questioning Dave...
ReplyDeleteI think Dave knows more than his conscious mind is letting on.
ReplyDeleteThis story is so very engrossing. I feel for Dave, answering his inner voice out loud. You really have me totally wrapped up in this mystery - terrific excerpt!
ReplyDeleteOops!! I can just imagine Dave's inner thoughts wanting to tease him for that slip. Gosh, wonder what they're all thinking? Great snippet.
ReplyDeleteThe cracks are finally showing in Dave's psyche . . . I'm still slightly suspicious of him, though I wish I wasn't---he's a sympathetic character.
ReplyDeleteA decent excuse for weird behavior, and then he goes and messes it up. If Dave keeps talking to the voice in his head like that, he's going to get busted.
ReplyDeleteVery nice. I really like your writing style. Wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteAdding to the intrigue! You've done sch a good job of infusing a touch of mystery into every snippet you've written, Cindy. I'm with Marcia; I'm so going to buy this book! :-) Great 8!
ReplyDeleteGetting crazy with the voices. I still think he is not the one to worry about here. He is a bit mental but not evil. I think.....
ReplyDeleteAn interesting eight there.
ReplyDelete