2013 March 17
Weekend Writing Warriors is a blog hop. The
object is to write eight sentences from your writing, published or
unpublished, for the other participants to critique (as well as anyone
else who wants to comment of course). This is a snippet from my WIP, The Milk Carton Murders.
- See more at: http://historysleuth.blogspot.com/#sthash.KzbxXmen.dpuf
The Milk Carton Murders
(A brief synopsis of the story and previous excerpts can be found here.)
Some background. These are cold cases that happened about 20 years earlier.
Continuing from last week in the perspective of the killer when he/she reflects back on the day when said killer's mate showed up at the door with a child.
Continuing from last week in the perspective of the killer when he/she reflects back on the day when said killer's mate showed up at the door with a child.
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It turned out to be a simple task
to make up paperwork to go along with a child. It was easier to bypass all the
middlemen, skip putting the children through custody battles, ignore all the
useless paper work, endless meetings and court dates delayed after delays on
end. No one working in the system really cared anyway. To the paper pushers,
the children were just piles of carbon copies to shuffle around―not people at
all. Of course they needed a new name so their wretched parents couldn’t find
them. A bit of firm coaxing to instill trust until their past was forgotten to
them. A few forms worded with precision,
slipped into files here and there that never got noticed. Broken systems were
easy to work around.
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The link to the other Weekend Writing Warriors is here. This week we have over 80 participants! You're bound to find something to pique your interest.
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PS feel free to look at my post below this one on April's Blogging From A-Z/Camp NaNoWriMo--in case you want to leave a comment in that post and contribute a word to my crazy plan. :)
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PS feel free to look at my post below this one on April's Blogging From A-Z/Camp NaNoWriMo--in case you want to leave a comment in that post and contribute a word to my crazy plan. :)
Very interesting, Cindy.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I are guardian ad litems and we observe and sometimes participate in the paperwork jungle you've described.
It's frustrating enough in a small town in a small county.
Your scene could easily have been reality 20 yrs ago, and certainly in a large metro area.
Well done!
It's horrifying how realistic this is.
ReplyDeleteI'm facinated by this story---I really want to read more!
What a creepy glimpse into the mind of a mad man.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post.:-)
Gave me shivers. I felt this in my soul... Great job.
ReplyDeleteChilling
ReplyDeleteThis gave me the heebie jeebies. Mission accomplished. Hurry up next Sunday!
ReplyDelete~Joyce Scarbrough
Completely creepy.
ReplyDeleteThat was spooky. I tweeted.
ReplyDeleteThat's any bureaucracy, anywhere. You've captured it very well. Add the serial killer and a child? Very creepy.
ReplyDeleteThis is a seriously disturbing story but in the way of really good horror and crime novels...another intriguing snippet. I HAVE to keep reading!
ReplyDeleteShaking. It's just creepy to hear it from the killer's POV. Eeks!!
ReplyDeleteI love a good thriller, which yours promises to be, even if they do mean I lock all my doors and refuse to go out after dark while reading one. Love the creepy factor in this snippet. Great job!
ReplyDeleteIt's eerie to hear the killer talk so rationally.
ReplyDeleteThanks all. I'm glad you're finding him creepy in a rational sounding way. It's what I was going for.
ReplyDeleteChilling snippet!
ReplyDeleteInteresting insight into this man's mind: cold, calculating, un-repentant, bold and confident. Not a good mix. Good snippet!
ReplyDeleteBeyond suspense and thriller, you are INDEED writing history. Some people and children just are not seen as having any value. They are seen as costing society and better being eliminated. It happens in every country, but sometimes (often we hope) those killers are tracked down and put away.
ReplyDeleteHow awful it must be, being the son of a killer and getting to know about it in his old age!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts everyone. It lets me know I'm going in the direction I intended.
ReplyDeleteThis is probably terrifyingly accurate. SO scary, it makes me want to keep my son very close. Nice, chilling 8!
ReplyDeleteChilling.
ReplyDeleteChilling excerpt and you've also captured the tragedy of mindless bureaucracy so well! Looking forward to the next instalment.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad, and the last sentence so profoundly true.
ReplyDelete